Home.

Our daughter is home and her life will now have equal billing with her brother over at our family blog: www.nosmallfeat.typepad.com

Thanks for your support, encouragement, cheers, tears and prayers. They all meant so much to us!

Back to the Future

So I just checked Delta to see if the flight took off okay and it told me that it was complete and had landed. Then I realized (after about 10 minutes of utter befuddlement) that they actually took off tomorrow. So they took off on time and are scheduled to land in France on time tomorrow (er, today).

When I pick up my youngest child who is also my first child (pretty unconventional, I know) we are going to Toys R Us so he can buy something special to greet his big sister with (who may actually be smaller than him). I don't know if we can top her riding on an elephant today (er, yesterday) but we'll see what we can do.

Fasten Your Seatbelts...

So today I learned that the crew in India had a hearty laugh at my expense while holding on for dear life in a rickshaw as they recalled my OCD level concern over whether I should bring the carseat, the booster seat, or both (just in case) to the airport on Saturday. You see in India seatbelts are not optional... they are quite simply not an option.

Family Fiesta!

They did it again! Uncle Rick and Aunt Leah came over and outdid themselves with a fantastic Mexican meal (and Zoe brought a balloon for her big cousin)! After dinner, Aunt Leah made a fresh batch of cookies for the kids to decorate and devour while we drank coffee (oh, we ate cookies too!) and talked until it was the kids' bedtime. These two have taken such good care of us these past two weeks and I am so thankful.

Now Playing...

This may seem a stretch to some but I tend to associate everything to dates and numbers (though I hate math with a vengence.). On June 23, 1989 the first Batman movie was being released (starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson, as the Joker). I had every intention of being front and center on opening night but then something happened. Christopher was born (my first "nephew"). I had to wait to see the movie... it was a disappointment I was glad to overlook.

Our daughter shares Christopher's birthday. She shares something else with him. She has the dubious honor of being the reason I will miss opening night for Batman: The Dark Knight (starring Christian Bale and the late Heath Ledger as the Joker). Obviously a disappointment I am happy to overlook as well but just found it interesting how my mind remembers things. Random but somehow not so much.

Here's a trailer to the movie. I may be a total geek but it gives me goosebumps:

Double The Fun

Tonight we had a visit from another dear friend, Shirley and her sons Andy (blue) and Chris (orange) (Shirley, I hope I got that right! LOL). Shirley and I have been friends for about 3-4 years. We met at a time when we both longed to be moms and she is one of the sunbeams God put in my life that I know will never burn out. After years of struggle we are able to rejoice together over these children that we've been blessed with, and doubly so. We truly enjoyed their visit ... someone had so much fun that he wanted to go home with them!

Missing Daddy

Over the weekend I began to see cracks in our son's tough boy exterior as I was seeing more and more evidence of how deeply he was missing his daddy. By today it was so apparent, and heartbreaking, that I left work early to make some time for fun with my favorite little boy, and fun we had...

First we went for ice cream with his good friend "George." We sat outside on a bench and talked about our day and enjoyed our ice cream. Someone enjoyed his ice cream so much there was evidence of it all over his clothes and his body... so the next thing we did was take a bubble bath. Yeah, George did too:

Then after his bath he was led into the kitchen where a present from Daddy awaited him. He shrieked with delight and anticipation as he opened the package. Most of you know that our son has a bit of a dumpster fixation. Well, what better gift than a garbage truck, complete with dumpsters... what a Daddy!!

Comfort Food

This morning Uncle Rick, Aunt Leah and Zoe came over for breakfast. They did not just come to have breakfast... they came to MAKE breakfast and it was SO good. I'm talkin' cheese eggs, hashbrown casserole, biscuits, sausage gravy, bacon, coffee and OJ. I am going to be full until tomorrow!




They also had the opportunity to have a video chat with our family's world traveler (well, one of them... his older sister is currently in China with her husband). They also got to see our sleeping beauty snuggled up next to Sarah for a rest during the call. I was encouraged to see she is a heavy sleeper because our house is rarely quiet.


Now our little man is napping (HOORAY!) and I get a break this evening as our babysitter comes and I can visit with my friends in small group. This day should pass quickly and I cannot believe that we are less than a week from them being home. I can't wait!

"Young Man"

The adults got food poisoning yesterday (they think foccacia might be the culprit). So today was a pretty low key day for them... a few walks around the grounds of the hotel but otherwise lots of naps and not much eating. When I spoke to them this morning they were all feeling better but tired from the physical ordeal and it was already nighttime there so they were gearing up to go to bed. What's next...

... when we wake up they will already be at the airport traveling to Delhi for the last leg of their trip. This will be the first time our daughter will be on an airplane. I don't know how she will feel about that but apparently she loves the thrill of the car ride (and, apparently, in India it is quite the death-defying experience) so she might find it fun. I am hopeful to speak to them tomorrow afternoon when they check into their hotel. So, where are they staying? Here's a hint:



I'm SO not kidding.

Turn the Page

A new day has come and gone in our daughter's life and she has made great strides in such a short time. We have been videoconferencing and the changes are apparant. Yesterday she looked overwhelmed and tired, quiet -- sad. Today she looked inquisitive, many shy smiles, and pride. She showed me using her Doodle-Pad how she can write the alphabet. So I took our magnetic board and began putting the alphabet up one letter at a time in camera's view while she began calling them out to me. It was a small first moment shared between mother and daughter. Her little brother was beyond excited to see and hear his Daddy, sister, Heidi and Sarah and helped gather the dogs so she could see them too.

I learned that today included a lot of breakthroughs in bonding between father and daughter as she was seen to be hugging, snuggling, holding hands and talking to her Daddy; laughing with and making faces with them all. They toured the many beautiful temples of the area and did some shopping.

Smarty Pants

Today Mimi's Daddy got to sit in her class. She is the star of the class, very smart and the first to finish her assignments. When done she is known to walk around and help the other students. She does not speak english, but can say her alphabet and say english words. She speaks and writes fluently in her native tongue (Oriyan) but the consensus is that she will be a quick study given her love of school and quick learning skills. Thankfully my sister-in-law is an elementary school teacher and is helping us figure out how to proceed with her education in the American system and at home tools to assist her school studies.

In other news... she had chocolate ice cream for dessert at dinner tonight. She LOVES her little blue purse and carries it with her everywhere. She is by all accounts a "girlie girl." She is experiencing some grief and sadness, which we expected. What is most encouraging is that she already seeks out her Daddy for comfort and reassurance. Tonight at dinner when she seemed sad and teary, her Daddy scooped her into his lap and she leaned into him, placing her hand on his arm in a show of tender trust...

(Sorry no new pictures to share; Heidi's computer is having issues.)

Building Blocks

Tonight my friend Maribeth came over for dinner (and by dinner I mean leftover pizza) and she brought yummy HOMEBAKED cookies for dessert. They were fantastic and thankfully she shared the recipe. Yes, my almost 3 year old son is sitting in a highchair... his baby cousin was in it last night and I guess he felt the need to reminisce about the good ole' days ... I will say that it was nice to have him "contained" for a minute. :)

The Hubs called to talk to his little man who was thrilled to hear from his Daddy and told him all about his day. When I got the phone back, I heard more about his visit with our daughter but with all that he said with words all I heard in his heart was this intense motivation to protect our little girl from any harm. In one day she completely wrapped him around her little finger. I was again proud and oh so thankful that he is my husband and the father of my children. His dedication to them both and to me as his wife is remarkable.

Oh and I also showed our boy a picture of his Daddy with his "big" sister. He was excited to see them together. It was fun to see his warm reaction to them together and thankfully Maribeth was here so she was able to take some pictures for me.

Daddy's Little Girl

This is a direct quote: "She is the prettiest thing in the world. Cuter than any picture we have gotten on her. She is so sweet. She is very tiny. Her little brother may be bigger than her. She is very shy. At one point she was crying because she is going to miss her friends and thought we were taking her home with us tonight. but we are taking her tomorrow. She relaxed after a little while and grabbed my hand and took me around showing me the entire place. You're not going to believe how beautiful she is." He also said that other children were grabbing at his leg and calling him Daddy and she was getting annoyed by that... she was taking ownership of him, which was great to hear.

This time when we spoke he sounded like he had no energy to spare and was going to sleep. He has been running on empty for a long while and I am hopeful that he will sleep for at least 12 hours. He said that they are returning to the children's home tomorrow around 10 a.m. I may speak to him this evening (his morning) and when I know more, so will you.

Night and Day

I was called at 2:30 this morning with word that he arrived at the hotel safely. He sounded tired but excited as once we hung up he was calling to plan a trip to meet our daughter. I did receive word from our agency that the meeting did happen and they were visiting.

When we spoke, he said he would talk to me "at night" but I did not catch if he meant his night, or my night... so at some point (day or night) I'll hear from him.

Ringing off the hook...

I spoke to "Marco Polo" while I was at work and he was laid over in Dubai. It was such a great surprise to hear his voice. He sounded great, but tired. He told me an absolutely hilarious story about Heidi bringing a rollout mattress that she puts on the floor in front of the seat and curls in a ball on the floor to sleep. The imagery given was "think George Costanza sleeping under his desk when he worked at Yankee Stadium." But the real funny part was that when he woke up from a nap down there and turned, he got stuck between the seats. Unfortunately, Heidi did not have her camera ready to memorialize THAT.


My in-laws came over to keep me company. We were hopefully expectant that we would get a call from India. The phone rang (a lot) and each time my heart would jump and then sink when it was not him.

When I put our son to sleep tonight he was crying that he wanted his Daddy. I did a pretty good job reassuring him and was able to bring a smile back to his sweet face and help him drift off to sleep. ... and now it is 10:20 p.m. and if I am correct their last flight is now underway and I pray to hear from him before I leave for work tomorrow. I miss him terribly.

... and they're off.

It was a busy day getting ready for the India trip. Heidi and Sarah came last night and slept over. We woke up early, had breakfast and enjoyed an early visit from my brother-in-law. While the brothers continued their visit over another cup of coffee, we gals took off to do what comes naturally (shop and have lunch). Later that afternoon my father-in-law came over to see his son off, bring me an amazing bouquet of yellow roses and a ragdoll for his granddaughter. It was a full and very happy, love-filled house and I was thankful for it.

The time finally came for us to say the goodbye. Naturally, I sobbed ... and naturally my husband prepared our son for this inevitability as he said from his carseat as we drove away from the airport, "Mommy, you cry tears of joy. You so excited! Hooray!!!"

I slept okay (albeit lightly) and anxiously await word from India that they have arrived.

Her room is done... (almost)

When we started decorating for Mimi's arrival I honestly had no idea what to do and yet, somehow, I feel like it has finally all come together at the 11th hour. There are one or two small touches to complete it fully but I finally feel like I can turn off the light and close the door for the night. Here are some pics:

Itinerary Confirmed!

Got the call this morning ... they leave July 8th and they and our beautiful daugther WILL BE HOME on July 19th. Okay, so the story of "they..."

India requires one parent to travel so we decided that my hubby (who is a far better traveler than I am and also the epitomy of grace under fire whereas I am the dry brush that spreads the fire) would go to India and I would stay home with our son. Sometime after the referral of our daughter we were told that a man cannot travel alone but must either bring his wife OR a female escort. So, I said, we will ALL go to India. However, he was adament that a 2 year old cannot take such a trip. The plane ride to India requires several transfers and very many hours in flight.

Enter Heidi. Heidi is a friend of ours who we came to know after we both adopted our children from Ethiopia around the same time. In fact, Heidi met our son in Ethiopia before we even got the referral for him. It is hard to call her a friend because where I come from when someone is as important to you as she is to us they are referred to as "family." So, Heidi... she was ready, willing and able to act as the female escort to go with AND she said she was going to bring her 11 year old daughter, Sarah (who is an AMAZING young lady, and that's an understatement).

So that's the "they" -- my better half, Heidi and Sarah.

Oh, and one more thing... Heidi is a professional photographer who will chronicle the entire journey in film (er, digital) so we'll actually have pictures from this adoption journey (as this is the ONLY picture "proving" he was in Ethiopia):

Progress!

Last night we got an email from the Indian consulate that the visa application was approved and it is being shipped back via FedEx for delivery on Monday, June 30. We have a hold on a travel itinerary having them leave the US on July 8th and returning on the 19th. We are waiting to hear from the children's home approving it and then we'll book.

We still don't have any updates on her size BUT the director of the orphanage said that "she is very excited that her Daddy is coming to get her." I wonder if she could possibly have any idea how excited WE are to be bringing her home.

Due Date

I just received an email that our daughter will be free to travel on July 14, 2008.

We have visa applications pending people!

Timeline (moving target)

When you adopt you never REALLY have a firm date for anything until you get to that date. So while our timeframe is still within the 4-6 weeks, it is now looking more like the 6 weeks...

The Court Order should be received by the agency in India in a week and then they apply for her passport. That processing takes about 35 days. That puts us at approximately August 5th. From there we make travel arrangements and you are looking at maybe the 2nd or 3rd week of August. Of course, the processing could go quicker and travel is the last week of July or the first week of August.

I asked if we can pay an additional fee to have the passport application processing expedited. Haven't heard back yet...

Why I love my agency, and other musings....

It's always easy to get frustrated when you want information and aren't hearing anything but for those of us who have done this before we have a sense that you can only be told what is known. Why I love my agency is because they don't just give you information, they seem to share in your joy. I was receiving email responses from our agency rep. at 11:00 p.m. last night. Surely that constitutes as going above and beyond, right? So big ups to AIAA.

Also, the news is still seeping into me... I am absorbing this news quickly and slowly if that makes sense. I just cannot wait to meet our daughter. It is all so surreal to me.

... and our son. What a great kid! He is SO excited and has been saying things all last night and this morning, like: "hooray, Mimi come home! I so excited!!" This morning he pointed to his Dora flashcards and said he wanted to give those to Mimi. I told him she was not home yet but when she arrived he could. Then he said, "I want Mimi to play in my playground." I reminded him that it was both of their playground and he said, "Okay, Mommy. I want Mimi to go down the slide with me." I said that she would. He said, "Mommy, Mimi need a brother." I said yes she does and you need a sister. He smiled and said "Okay, Mommy."

Birthday Gift from God

Last night a friend asked me "any news on Mimi?" I said, "I keep praying that God have her pass court when it reopens on her birthday tomorrow but I know that kind of stuff only happens in the movies, so...." Well, God reminded me that He is the Director of our lives and so it should come as no surprise that He ordained it such that WE PASSED COURT ON HER BIRTHDAY!

We got the word at noon today. She is officially cleared and ready for take-off... they are obtaining her passport and then she comes home. We don't have a date yet but it will be within the month.

I am humbled by God's amazing love for me, to hear my prayers and to answer them SO specifically and to show Himself to me like this.

I am thankful and so SO happy!

I AM THE MOTHER OF TWO CHILDREN... TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday!

Today is our daughter's sixth birthday. We are heartbroken that we cannot celebrate it with her as she blows out the candles and makes a wish. We do feel, however, that her wish is the same as ours is today; that we hear something soon from courts and we can bring her home.


We emailed this to our agency last night. It is a collage of photos of her little brother wishing her a happy birthday in her native language:

The room is taking shape.

I returned to the boutique again this evening after work (Brian met me) and I found another item on sale that somehow missed my notice yesterday (on sale for $10 from $34). It's already hung up in her room. Below it are the Dora doll my mother-in-law bought her and the Madame Alexander India doll that I've had set aside to give our daughter for a very long time ...



It says: "Little girls are precious gifts, wrapped in love serene. Their dresses tied with sashes and futures tied with dreams."

Picture Perfect

I went shopping for Mimi again today after work at a local children's boutique that is usually high priced. Once a year they have an incredible firehouse type sale and I was able to buy a really great canvas print for her room (retail $85; I paid $19) .




You know the Truman Show type photo where kids are all wearing the same PJs as they open their gifts on Christmas morning? Well, I have always had this fantasy of the family wearing matching PJs to open gifts and with this sale I was finally able to buy the kids matching PJs (for $8 a piece, retail for $40). I resisted the urge to buy them for their folks ... I know there was NO way I'd get their father in the adult version of this (but it's perfect for the kids!):





I am SO excited for Christmas morning... she BETTER be home by then! Stomps. foot.

The Pause Button

The Court session has ended for the day in India and with that their month long summer vacation begins and our hopes for bringing our daughter home has been paused.

This last leg of the process has been difficult for me. Maybe it is because I am accustomed to being in the know about upcoming dates and deadlines and that just has not been the case with this adoption. Maybe it is because my heart breaks each time our son says "when Mimi come home?"

Maybe it's because our home suddently feels very empty without her. Even though she has not been in her actual home where we live yet she has been in our hearts and we all know that home is where the heart and so in that sense I guess she kinda is home, which makes it hurt all the more that we cannot hug her.

No news is good news?

So I just talked to my agency and was told that all they know is that our case has been before the court's scrutiny body that reviews adoption papers before it goes before a judge since January 2008, which is right about 3 1/2 months from when we received our NOC (and were initially told that we should pass court in 2-3 months (with no guarantee, of course)).

The courts close in 16 days from today for a month and that makes all the difference of our daughter coming home in the summer or the fall, or later still (GASP)!

This is a very different experience for us than our Ethiopian adoption as we were always told upcoming dates which allowed for some understanding of where we were in the process and how long before we began the run toward the next hurdle.

The caseworker tried to make me feel better by saying that pregnancies take 9 months so at 6 months waiting I'm doing okay. I responded "but at least with a pregnancy you have a due date."

Resignation...

I thought that those of you who dutifully visit this blog deserved an update... even if that update were just to share my pity-party. I am having a very difficult time waiting for a court date and I am kicking myself for my naivete in thinking that since I've done this already (adopt) I would be uber-cool and collected this go-round. I am at that point where I feel like if I hit refresh one more time I am going to break the computer, or have a breakdown, or both.

I have been buying clothes for Mimi ... well, dresses. My hubby has recently put a dress moratorium in effect as he feels that she might just want to do something other than sit around looking precious like, say, play ... in shorts and stuff. I agree but dresses for little girls are so. darn. cute! But I will now focus on shorts and t-shirts. Cute ones, though. I still reserve the right to purchase any and all must-have dresses. :)

We also (finally) decided on bedding for her room, opting to go for simplicity so there are no limits to decorating the room. We bought Hilfiger bedding in a soft pink argyle design with yellow and blue trim colors. I'll post pictures once it arrives and her bed is made.

... and then I will be found sitting on the edge of her bed, holding my breathe waiting for her to come home and lay her sweet head upon it.

Lord, please may that day come soon.

The First Dress

I had not bought any clothes yet for our daughter . . . until today! I have just been aching this week for her to come home and have been going online to look at little girl's clothes. Well today on e-bay there was this hand smocked Strasburg dress. These dresses retail for $150. How much did I ultimately pay? $10.50. Yep, you aren't missing a zero -- TEN DOLLARS and FIFTY CENTS. It's beautiful, right? I cannot wait to see her wearing it.

Vacation Time

The High Court that will be hearing our case (if we are ever assigned a judge) is scheduled to close for its summer holiday from May 17, 2008 through June 20, 2008.

Do you think we have a chance of having our court date before they close for the summer?

Size Matters.

I have been hoping to receive an update on Mimi's size so that I can go shopping for clothes tomorrow at this HUGE local consignment sale. Unfortunately, the agency was not able to get current measurements but they did find in her case file that her size in October 2007 was 39.8 inches tall and 30.8 pounds (and kids don't grow much at this stage of life).

All that said, I still have absolutely no idea how to buy for her because size varies depending on what chart you look at. I am thinking size 4T. Any alternative ideas to my thought process on sizes can kindly leave a comment.

I will post pictures of what I bought over the weekend.

UPDATE: We received word that Mimi is presently 41.3 inches and 33 pounds. This tells us that she is thriving and healthy. It also means she is likely a kids size 5 (or 5T), and not a 4T. (I am so relieved I didn't buy anything on Friday).

Refresh

For those who check in here regularly -- there are no updates. I hit my refresh button every minute and a half to see if I have an email from the agency but still no word on a court date or any other updates to share.

I am well-versed in the adoption process enough to respect that our agency is working VERY hard on our case (and the cases of other families who have been waiting a really long time). Because of that I have deliberately not called or emailed for an update (yet) but remain hopeful that we (and other families) hear something soon.

We were told we'd hear about a court date "sometime in February" so we have another 10 days. If we weren't in a leap year, we would only be waiting for 9. ;o(

Brotherly Love

We were given the news yesterday that our daughter was told about her forever family. I will post later about that as I am still waiting for details from our super fantabulous agency. However, because of this, we spent last night getting her care package ready to send. Her little brother wanted in on the action and told us that he wanted to make something for his big sister. He took out his art supplies and with a little help from Mommy (completely under the direction of the artist) made her a card. When finished he proudly exclaimed "I made art for Mimi!" He also chose sticker books to send her so she can share with her friends.

Soundtrack

A friend asked me a really cool question about what song was in my head when Brian called with the news of our having received the NOC. Anyone who knows me well is aware that I have a soundtrack to my life that plays in my head. Just about any song I hear takes me to a moment in time - sometimes it reminds me of a person or just a place in time or a feeling. So I thought it was so cool that someone who barely knows me thought to ask what song I heard.

The answer: Blackbird by The Beatles. Paul McCartney, who wrote this song, has said it was written about the struggle of African-American's during that period of time. Nevertheless, great songs such as this have a certain ambiguity that allows for interpretation by the listener so that the song speaks to their heart. So it is no surprise to me that as I was given the news that our daughter is that much closer to coming home that I would hear the melodic voice of Paul McCartney sing in my head "Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise."

One giant step forward...

We received word today that CARA has issued the NOC. They are waiting to assign a judge to hear our case in family court and they think this will happen sometime in February and then the court date will be calendared. Once the court date happens we will get the travel invitation to bring our daughter home! They are estimating that she will be coming home in 4-5 months from today (May-June).

With love...

I have to say that I have some awesome friends.

My very dear friend Heidi and her children came to spend the weekend with us. On the very first night as we sat in the kitchen enjoying coffee and conversation she presented me with a gift bag that contained all the amazing play clothes for our sweet Mimi to enjoy when she comes home.

and because another dear friend KT knows that I embrace the culture of my children as my own and also enjoy playing dress up she surprised me with the gift of a beautiful Saree. I cannot wait to wrap myself up in this beautiful cloth! I will post pictures once I master the art of wearing the Saree.

An Update (kinda, sorta...)

I emailed AIAA for an update (even knowing that they are so awesome they would have told me already if there was any). Nevertheless my sleuthing got this additional information:

Our dossier was actually not received in India until Tuesday, November 20th. This means CARA likely got it the end of that week (November 23rd) or the first of the following week (November 26th).

I did additional research to determine when the government in India was closed during the months of November/December. I came upon a website that lists government holidays in India. Based on this calendar, CARA may have been closed on November 20th and then again from December 20th through the 25th.

Our agency also said that the NOC from CARA is typically received "2-3 months" after the dossier is submitted. Taking into consideration the holiday slowdown, I'm thinking maybe (just maybe) NOC approval for our sweet Mimi will be our Valentine's Day gift.

Longing...

It seems strange to write that I miss Mimi since we've never met. But here it is. I miss Mimi. This private blog for our India adoption has thus far been our place to catalogue the adoption process. However, behind the process and the paper (and even more paper) is a matter of the heart.

A long time ago I was lectured by our first caseworker (for our Ethiopian adoption) that I needed to "guard my heart" while waiting for our son to come home during the process of adoption. I knew right then that she just didn't get it (and, no, she was not an adoptive parent).

You cannot help but fall in love "at first sight." I think about Mimi all the time. I wonder what she does, who her friends are, what she dreams about (or if she has already given up dreaming). I wonder if anyone holds her when she cries, even knowing that she'll never ever be held as lovingly or warmly as she will be by her mommy and daddy. I wonder when they will tell her about us. I wonder when she is coming home or if any government official will bar that from happening.

It is a very primal thing -- that which a mother feels for her child. It does not happen when you feel the heartbeat of the child. It happens when your heart beats for the child. My heart beats loudly right now. I pray that on some level she can hear it, and feel it, and know that she will soon be home.